Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Wednesday Weigh In

I had a fairly successful week - as far as food goes, anyway.

The scale has me DOWN 0.8 lbs so not too bad. That puts me at 208.4.

I was gone 3 days this week - from Wednesday -Friday ...... I am now driving my truck again, Jim is back in his truck, and he has his own gas monitor. The urgent errands should be at an end.....especially considering he will be finished on this well this week and there are no other jobs on the horizon. At least, not that he has been told about.

As to my goals:

Last week I said:

ON THE DAYS I AM HOME, my goals are as follows:

1. drink 8 glasses of water Still did not accomplish this....I used to drink more than my 8 cups/day but fell out of the habit somehow. I am finding it more difficult to re-establish this habit than it was to establish it in the first place. The last 3 days I am getting closer, however.

2. Take my vitamins Only once

3. Use my treadmill for a minimum of 1 mile each day Only once

4. Use a strength/toning DVD twice (if I'm home that much)Not at all

5. Limit my computer time to 30 minute intervals Nope

6. Eat all my exchanges - with no "NO NO's" Did pretty good here


1. Drink 5 glasses of water Did great here....5 seems to be easy for me to get is the last two that I miss

2. find a way to walk or exercise....park farther away for example - unless the temp drops to 40 below again. It got real cold again.....I did not go for any walks

3. When I do get to use the computer, limit my time to 30 min. intervals Yes, I did this when I was not home

4. Do my best to eat cleanly and to avoid just not eating because it is easier I did pretty well on this goal, getting most of my exchanges in. I had a Kit Kat Single and a small Cappachinno, but otherwise I ate clean.

I am beginning to get discouraged about setting goals since I never seem to quite accomplish them.

I'm quite happy with my rate of loss, it is consistent and is a result of real changes in my mind and my eating habits. This real change did not happen overnight - just because I wanted it to. The goals I set for changing the way I related to eating and to food were met through a slow process. I guess my exercise/fitness goals will take awhile as well. I've only just begun to get serious about setting exercise goals for myself, so maybe I need to cut myself some slack and just keep on setting that goal out there....sooner or later, it will be met every week. It is no longer an effort to eat clean and keep track of what I'm eating, surely that will happen with exercise too. Won't it?

So, in an attitude of 'faith' I will set goals again for this week.....

1. Daily Water.... 8 cups (or 4 bottles) when I am home. 4 cups (2 bottles) when I am on the road.

2. Vitamins at least every other day

3. Eat on plan (I only put that there so there is at least one thing that I can say I accomplished at this time next week)

4. Treadmill every day.

5. Workout DVD's - at least get them out and watch them (I have 2) to get an idea what to look forward to.

Of course, if I am not home, I cannot do #4 & 5.....but I can look for a way to do something that requires movement - even if it is only shopping. I do not expect to be away from home, however, since it sounds like Jim will be coming home at least for awhile.

6. I have lots of computer/desk work that needs to be done this in, not reading blogs....I am going to make a real effort to get up and at least walk down the hallway every 30 minutes. I will keep track in my daytimer what I do to add movement to my desk work.

So, that is my week gone by and a look at my week to come.

Here's to a better report on my goals next week......

Sunday, January 25, 2009


When I first began this journey, last December, I made a list of things that I expected to change in my life. I called them "milestones" to watch for on my journey.

I would like to share these with you now, 13 months and almost 44 pounds later...... my progress is in bold type

- My face looks like me again Getting pretty close, here

- I get a neck still looking for that

- I can reach to wipe This is no longer an issue (sorry for the personal nature of this one)

- My wedding rings fit Been wearing them for several months now – next milestone will be to get them made smaller again

- My necklaces fit haven’t tried to wear any of the ones I was talking about, actually....I tend to wear the same one all the time

- My pearls hang in an oval instead of a circle they tend to creep backward, making them hang in a circle, but when I pull them forward, they are in an oval (I love my pearls)

- I can curl up on the couch – comfortably Hmmm….don’t try this too often so I'm not sure

- I don’t have to sit with my legs spread in order to accommodate my belly not quite there – but at least my legs don’t have to be spread as wide

- I can roll over in bed without a big production still have to lift and roll, but it is not such a big deal anymore - I don't even always wake up to accomplish this

- I can pick something up off the floor without spreading my feet way apart I’m here!

- I can spoon behind my husband yup!

- I can cuddle next to Jim on the couch Getting much more comfortable

- I have a lap for my grandbabies to sit on I can hold both Seth and Kaden on my lap at the same time!

- I am not always bumping into things I've noticed that I’m not bumping into things all the time, but I'm not quite at the milestone where it never happens

- I can walk down stairs without having to think about it I am still very careful about stairs - but that may be just my cautious nature - I am alone most of the time, after all

- I don’t have to lift up my belly to wash under it Still have to lift that thing

- I have to buy a smaller size from size 28 to 20 shirts, size 24 to 18 jeans

- I have to buy smaller sized glasses don’t need glasses yet – but if I did, I’d probably get smaller ones

- I can wear high heels well, not my 5 inchers, but I can comfortably wear my 2 inch heels for the whole day - even if I have to walk alot

I “fit” in the airplane’s seats haven’t been on an airplane since I went to England in April, and then it was still a problem

Now for some more milestones that I have passed but did not think to look for until they happened:

- I can feel the bones in my hip (through my buttocks)
- When I lay on my side, I can feel the curve of my body
- I can feel the bottom of my ribcage
- I can cross my legs if I am sitting in the right kind of chair
- I walk faster - all the time
- I can see the scale without pushing my stomach in
- I don’t hate myself
- I can get down on the floor and play with the babies - and stay there for as long as I want
- I can tie my shoe without using a footstool to put my foot on
- I am satisfied with much less food and do not feel the need to eat when watching a movie
- I am much more confident
- I don't want to cry when someone takes a photo of me

Now some more to look for:

- I can sit on Jim’s lap
- I can cross my legs when sitting in a hard chair
- I can sit Indian style in a chair
- I can easily get out of my small car
- I can run
- I like to see a photo of myself
- My granddaughter tells me I'm not so fat anymore
- I need to resize my wedding rings - smaller

I am sure if I really tried, I could think of more milestones, both reached and still ahead - and as I journey along this path, I'll pass some I did not even know were there.

I did not include several things I looked forward to back in Dec/07 that were of a very personal nature - if you've ever been more than 100 pounds overweight you can probably imagine what they were - but I'd rather you didn't. I only mention this to say that I have passed each one of those very inimate milestones. These were the things that caused the most despair and pain in my life.

The road is long - it is sometimes full of potholes and often under construction, but each milestone passed and acknowledged gives hope and vision for the rest of the road. I think this list was one of the keys to my keeping on, in spite of the slow speed of my travel and the occasional setbacks.

I would recommend a list for yourself - especially if you are just starting out....whether for the first time or the 100th time.

What milestones have you passed lately?

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

It's Wednesday Again

It has been a busy week.

Looking back at my food journal, I see I was home for ONE day this past seven days - and that was the day I got my nails done in town, meaning that I was gone for the whole morning.

I should have made a note of the mileage on my car at the start of the week. I have made note of the kms I've driven on behalf of work....850. I'll be putting another 200 kms on today. That total doesn't count the two times I drove to Edmonton (about 110 kms one way) .... once to babysit Kaden, and once for his birthday party. It also does not account for the 70 or so kms I drive every time I 'go to town'.

I've been very thankful that the temperature has been well above freezing all week, melting the snow and ice that had been on the roads - making highway driving easy. The gravel roads (remember, I live in the country) get to be a bit MORE hazardous when the temp goes above 0 in the daytime....the snow cover on the gravel is thicker than on the highway so it melts slower. It melts during the day but as soon as the temp hits 0 again, we have ice. Anyway, I am not here to talk about weather and road conditions, am I?

I'm here to report weight this morning, and my goals this week.

Today's weigh in is 209.2. A LOSS of 1.8 lbs. I officially have a 0 as the middle number! Woo Hoo! Less than 10 lbs to go to ONEDERVILLE. Will I feel any different when I weigh 199? Maybe, maybe not....I guess we'll see. low weight this week was 208.8 and my high weight was 211 last WI day. I'm quite happy with today's weight and this week's loss.

As for goals......well, like I said, it has been a crazy week.

1. Drink 8 cups of water EVERY DAY Averaged HALF of that. What can I say? I was on the road alot....I don't like to have to stop every half hour to 'get rid' of a bunch of water.

2. Take my vitimins at least 5 days This goal was victim to my 'never being home' life this past week. I did not take vitimins even once!

3. Treadmill a minimum of 1 mile or 30 minutes 5 days Another victim to not being home until I was ready to drop.....I did the treadmill ONCE (last Wednesday). Yesterday, I was babysitting Seth all day. I took him out in the stroller and walked up and down their block 3 times. This was not a mile, I'm sure (I should get a pedometer) and I couldn't walk very fast due to the fact that I went out after the temp had started to go down and what had been water from melting snow earlier in the day had turned to ice on the sidewalk in places.

4. Begin to do toning exercises (at least 2 days) Nope...not at all....didn't even dig out a DVD - although I did order a new one (I only have one, actually). Does getting up and down off the floor to play with my grandson count? How about picking up toys? While Seth slept yesterday, I tidied up their house......lots of picking up. Does that count? Well, probably not, but it didn't hurt, and I was happy to be able to help my daughter out in this way.

5. Be more careful to get all exchanges in before it is too late in the evening Oh man, looking back I did not do as well with this as I thought I did. I did not get all my exchanges in on any day - but I did not try to compensate for that just before bed, either. This goal was victim to not being home, for sure.

On the same subject, I also had more NO NO's this week - for the same reason. Both places I babysat had some real special treats in their fridges. Victoria had mini cheesecakes, left over from a fundraiser she had hosted (tart size cakes) I had 2 of them. Kathryn had some of Lana's homemade coconut chocolates in her fridge. Rob and Lana had forgotten to bring them at Christmas, due to the fact that Lana was preoccupied with a brand new baby and all the physical stuff that goes with being just 4 days post partum and Robert's mind was strained just getting 3 little girls and all the gifts into the van while dealing with the fact that he had a fever and stuffed up head. I missed those chocolates (which are more coconut than chocolate) at Christmas.....I made up for it yesterday and ate 4 of them.

While driving this week, I had 3 of those 'cappachino' drinks that you get out of a machine at the gas stations......I have no idea how many calories is in one of them, but they are pretty sweet so probably alot.

When I get a whole week at home and eat all my exchanges with none of the no-no's, who knows what will happen? Don't hold your breath for me to get a whole week at home, though.

6. continue to train myself to not sit at the computer for more than 30 minutes at a time. Well, this week, either the computer was my main companion because I was sitting in a hotel room waiting for my hubby to get off work or I didn't see it at all until just before I was ready to drop into bed. So when I was on the computer, I don't think I ever limited myself to 30 minutes. I noticed, however, that I was very aware of how long I'd been there.

So, how do I feel about not accomplishing a single goal?

"Whatever" ...... that's how I feel. My life is busy, unpredictable, and full. I would prefer more routine, but what can you do? At this time, I never know what is going to come up next.

A large part of the travel this week has had to do with the fact that my husband's truck broke down in the town he is staying in while at work. He works from long before sunup until well after sundown - therefore, I am the one available to chase after parts, arrange for service, take the truck in........Also, his personal gas monitor needed service (the device he attaches to his chest pocket to detect poison gasses and alert him before they get to fatal concentrations) I needed to drop it off in the city south of us (100 km away) then take him the one they loaned him while his was being fixed so that he would be safe. Today I go pick his fixed monitor up. I will wait to take it to him until I also have to pick up my truck (which will be IF the shop gets his truck fixed). Then, I'll have to take the loaner monitor back to the city.

In deference to the unpredictability of my week, I will make my goals thusly:

ON THE DAYS I AM HOME, my goals are as follows:

1. drink 8 glasses of water

2. Take my vitamins

3. Use my treadmill for a minimum of 1 mile each day

4. Use a strength/toning DVD twice (if I'm home that much)

5. Limit my computer time to 30 minute intervals

6. Eat all my exchanges - with no "NO NO's"


1. Drink 5 glasses of water

2. find a way to walk or exercise....park farther away for example - unless the temp drops to 40 below again.

3. When I do get to use the computer, limit my time to 30 min. intervals

4. Do my best to eat cleanly and to avoid just not eating because it is easier

Well, I must go get ready to drive to Red pick up the gas monitor - first, I'll take some time to swallow my vitamins.

Monday, January 19, 2009

It's a Miracle

I'm not sure when it occured, but something has happened to me and I like it.

For pretty much my entire adult life, I have not liked the way I looked, to make an understatement. Even at 125 lbs I thought I looked awful.

Sure, there have always been certain things I've liked about my looks - my eyes, my hair, my ankles, even my bustline (once upon a time LOL), but overall, I was always disappointed when I looked in the mirror.

Now, I have been blessed with a wonderful man to share my life since I was 19 years old. (actually we were 15 years old when we started dating) No matter what my weight, he has always been generous and genuine with telling me I am pretty. I couldn't begin to count the number of times he has taken me in a hug, given me a kiss, and then turned to the kids and said "Isn't your mother beautiful?" Of course, I felt pretty at those times.

However....and this is a big however......I have just begun to realize that my confidence in the way I looked was always dependant on what others (primarily my Mr. Wonderful) said about me.

In the last many years, since I got near and then past the 200 lb mark, ONLY my hubby could make me feel pretty (and I began to not believe even him).

If my kids told me I looked pretty, for example, I did not believe them...I told myself that they were just saying that because I was their Mom, that they just wanted me to feel good about myself. (I'm talking about when they were teens and adults, not little ones who don't know better)

Any compliments I recieved from anyone other than my man, I always qualified in my head..."Yeah, I look good for a fat chick"...."Yeah, it's a nice outfit, but that is all"......I accepted the love that came with the nice comments, but rejected the comment itself.

And I NEVER complimented myself!

That has changed.

It is a change of miraculous proportions.

OK, there are days that I honestly do not look good....when I put a barrette in my hair, wear no makeup (I'm getting old, ya know...need a little paint to cover the aging), and wear my old, baggy clothes - those are the days that I am just working around the house and not going to see anyone.

BUT most days I actually want to put on a little makeup - just for me, I want my hair to look nice - just for me, I want to wear clothes that fit - just for me.

The biggest miracle of all.......I often feel pretty. I look in the mirror and I'm actually happy with what I see. I do not need to have someone else tell me I look nice in order to feel confident.

When one of my kids or a friend tells me I look good, I can thank them graciously, KNOWING that they are right!

When I walk into a business, I no longer feel like everyone is looking at the fat slob who just walked in.....I walk in confident that people will think I am pleasant looking - or, it just doesn't even occur to me that anyone is forming any kind of opinion at all about how I look.

How did this happen?

I have not even lost half the weight I want to lose.

I have not exercised enough to tone up and firm up.

Previously, when I saw a photo of myself, I wanted to cry - every single one just confirmed my opinion of how awful I looked.

Now, I see a photo of myself and I am surprised that I am still obviously obese but I don't want to cry anymore. (Although I do delete the least flattering ones)

I even like to look in the mirror (most days).

I know what the scale says.....I know what the BMI says......I can see in photos what I really look like.......but for the first time in my memory, I think I look better than I actually do! And I don't need someone to have told me I look good!

I see this as a huge step in finally winning this war with my weight, because it means that I have begun to love ME the way I AM. I've always known that my self hatred was one of my biggest stumbling blocks.

I really hope this lasts.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

I'm here

Just want to let y'all know that although I got a little "behind" on blog reading, I have been catching up - just not leaving comments for expediency sake. I love to read about your victories, your struggles, your epiphanys, your lives....I feel like I know many of you. Certainly, as I've said before, I've been pleasantly surprised at how much a person can really care about someone they have never really met. Anyway, just wanted to let you know I've most likely been 'by', even if I haven't left a 'calling card'.

I've had the afternoon to read the blogs since I am babysitting my second grandson, Kaden. It is his daddy and mommy's 4th anniversary. They are gone for an afternoon/evening of just the two of them - no baby. My third son and his wife will be arriving shortly to take the evening shift.

Jim did not get home last night, but he is hopeful for tonight. We'll see.

And, when I got on the scale this read 208.8.....2.2 pounds LESS than yesterday! Go figure.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Weighty Wednesday

It's everyone's favorite day of the week - no, not Wednesday - Weigh In day.

I'm disappointed to report a .2 gain. I'm not upset about it because there are any number of reasons to 'gain' 2/10 lb. I expect the numbers to be quite a lot less tomorrow.... today's weight of 211.0 is the highest I have been all week. I was down to 209.0 on Monday.... Oh well.

I had a few 'cheats' over the weekend (which was a little on the busy side) and I've been told it actually takes 3 days for indulgences to show up on the scale so I guess I deserve this.

As for my goals of the last week, I wasn't real successful there, either. I wonder if that could be the explaination for a gain rather than a loss? (heavy sarcasm there)

Here's the report:

1. Drink 8 cups water EVERY DAY I failed miserably here.....the most I got in was 6 cups of water (most days)

2. Take my vitamins EVERY DAY I remembered 4 days to take my vitamins. At least that is better than one day!

3. Walk on my treadmil a minimum of 30 minutes 6 out of 7 days prize. I walked over a mile 3 days each and for 10 min (1/2 mile) another day. My excuse? Well, really....I was in quite severe pain for the first 3 days of this 'week' (my hip) The day I did 10 minutes I was hurting still, but a little less. 10 minutes was what I could manage. I did notice, however, that my speed is increasing.

4. Do not sit at my computer or my desk for more than 30 minute intervals I am doing much better at this, although time still gets away from me at times. Still, I see lots of improvement here.

5. eat ALL my exchanges each day, making sure to weigh and measure everything Rats! I forgot that I determined to weigh and measure everything.....I didn't - just some things. Looking back, I see that I was lacking in veggies and carbs most days. I haven't had an appetite this week - as in, I don't look forward to preparing and eating a nice meal. Also, I've been satisfied with less than normal. When I look at my food journal just before bed and see that I haven't eatn 2 carbs, I think it is smarter to not eat them than to eat them just before bed. Maybe not, since I didn't lose this week.

6. No unplanned nibbles OK, not so good here. Not real bad, but not so good. Friday I baked cupcakes for Seth's 1st birthday. I licked the bowl and I had one cupcake (iced). Saturday, at the birthday party, I had another cupcake. Then, hubby's truck broke down 2 hours west of home. I had to take him my truck (straight from the birthday party). My youngest son followed me so he could bring me home. When we stopped for fuel, I succumbed to the Dove Dark Chocolates sitting on the counter - I ate all four. Then, Dan wanted to stop at McDonald's before heading home (no other options in this town) I ordered a cheeseburger (the small one) and also ate some of his fries (probably 10). That is my list of "bad girl" food for the past week.

7. Spend 2 afternoons helping my daughter (she has 2 big events this weekend) I visited Kathryn one afternoon and babysat the next afternoon while she went to the doctor. I also baked the cupcakes for Seth's BD party (as I've already stated) so she had a little less to do, I shopped for her for some nutritious snacks that she might be able to eat. She is pregnant and suffers from Hypermesis Gravadum.....literally constant nauseau and inability to eat - not good for her or baby......if she starts to vomit she cannot stop and ends up in hospital on an IV. In fact, after the birthday party she ended up in hospital. Oh yes, I and DIL Victoria cleaned up after the party for her. Because she was in the hospital on sunday, she was unable to participate in the second event she was scheduled for.

8. Help out my daughter in law at least one afternoon I picked up my granddaughters on Tuesday afternoon and kept them until Wednesday afternoon so that Lana could get some rest and maybe get caught up on housework. She has a newborn (3 wks old) and was sick with Mastitis last week. In fact, someone in their house has been sick since Titus was born!

9. Finish the reorganization and de cluttering of my office/art room and my kitchen I bit off more than I could chew with this goal. I did make good progress on my office though. There were a few unexpected activities come up that kept me from getting more done.....

10. Formulate my plans for increasing my health and fitness over the next year Nope, didn't do it....again, several things 'came up' that were urgent and some things just have to take a back burner. I have a general plan for the next year, I've only not taken the time to 'flesh it out'.

Whew! I'm glad that's over! I think I'll make few goals this week so I don't have to report so many things that I didn't accomplish.

Besides being in pain at the beginning of the week, having 3 or 4 different 'emergencies' come up, (really nothing new there - it is par for the course around here) and having a dog that needed nursing, I have been singularly UNmotivated.

This lack of motivation - or boredom maybe, was really bothering me. I think I have realized what the problem is......I got used to having Jim home for 2 weeks every 2 weeks - a routine that kept me motivated. When I knew he would be home in X number of days, I was motivated to finish a project so it was out of the way when he was home. NOW, I have no idea when he will be home and since no one else is around, there is no real motivation to go beyond keeping things picked up.

Maybe the Post Christmas Letdown has something to do with it, as well. Maybe it is the fact that my Christmas tree is still in the living room - undecorated, but I cannot take it downstairs on my own (it requires 2 strong people) and there has been no one out here since Christmas. has been pretty good. I have gotten quite a lot of work done, eaten well, and have supper planned. There is even a slim chance that Jim will be able to come home for the night. A very slim chance.

Oh....goals for this coming week:

1. Drink 8 cups of water EVERY DAY

2. Take my vitimins at least 5 days

3. Treadmill a minimum of 1 mile or 30 minutes 5 days

4. Begin to do toning exercises (at least 2 days)

5. Be more careful to get all exchanges in before it is too late in the evening

6. continue to train myself to not sit at the computer for more than 30 minutes at a time.

I won't burden you with my household and family goals this time.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

BIG NEWS - not weight related

A few months back, I posted about "Bustin' My Buttons" when my son-in-law, Vinjelu, won a national talent search for "best song".

He and Kathryn (my daughter) have performed a few times since then, including hosting a benefit concert last month. You can read about that event here, if you are interested.

Next big news in this journey.....their winning song is now available on itunes.

Here's how to get it:

Go to itunes.....(you do not have to have an ipod in order to use itunes, is a great way to store, sort, and listen to your music on your computer)

In the search bar, type in "Weeping"

A surprising number of items will come up with the same title, so go to "power search" and type in "Weeping" for Song Title and "Another Way" for Artist.

Next, click on "buy song" is only 99 cents.....and follow the instructions to have it downloaded to your computer.

Once finished, take a listen.....It starts with Kathryn singing "Weeping might endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning...." If that is not what you downloaded, you got the wrong song.

The song is a combination of lyrical and hip hop, just so you know ahead of time.

Vinjelu and Kathryn’s heart is to address issues of social justice, using music as a platform to bring awareness to global issues. They also bring a message of hope and the wealth of walking with God. Vinjelu’s lyrics touch deep in the soul - I have read many of his songs and there has't been one that hasn't touched me - and I'm not just speaking out of parental pride.....really.

Even if 'hip hop' isn't your usual genre, Vinj is pretty clear in his raps - realtively easy to understand - even for my untrained ear - and Kathryn's melodies are straightforward.

They are SO excited to have taken this step......getting a song recorded and 'mastered' so that it is of good enough technical quality for itunes to accept it was a huge step!

Can you tell I'm proud of them?

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Weigh In - First one of 2009

My official weigh in for this week is: DOWN 8/10ths of a pound. Minus 0.8 That puts my weight today at 210.8.

I was down to 209.0 on Monday, but I'm OK with 210.8. Wednesday is typically my heaviest day of the week for some reason. Also, I noticed way back near the beginning of this 'trek to fit' that typically I will go down over a pound in a day then bouce back up most of that pound, then begin to lose a little every day until I am back to that low weight. This process usually takes 4 days or so.

I was very excited to see 209 on my scale! I've never seen a 0 in the middle before!!!! I can't wait to get there again.....should be in a few days, at most. For that matter, I've never seen 210 before!

I'm only about 11 pounds from seeing a change in the FIRST number!!!!

Look out, ONEDERLAND, here I come!!!

I have not forgotten that I promised some goals and plans......I'm still thinking and formulating what will be challenging, yet realistic. I want to push myself but I don't want to become discouraged because I cannot meet my goals.

For this week, however, these are my plans:

1. Drink 8 cups water EVERY DAY
2. Take my vitamins EVERY DAY
3. Walk on my treadmil a minimum of 30 minutes 6 out of 7 days
4. Do not sit at my computer or my desk for more than 30 minute intervals
5. eat ALL my exchanges each day, making sure to weigh and measure everything
6. No unplanned nibbles
7. Spend 2 afternoons helping my daughter (she has 2 big events this weekend)
8. Help out my daughter in law at least one afternoon
9. Finish the reorganization and de cluttering of my office/art room and my kitchen
10. Formulate my plans for increasing my health and fitness over the next year

I will try to remember to come back to this list next Wednesday and let you know how I did.

Ta-Ta.......I'll be back soon!

Have a Wonderful Wednesday!

Monday, January 5, 2009

Moving vs Sitting

I was just editing photos from our Christmas celebration and I noticed something.


The photos of my husband have him sitting in different places in almost every photo.

The photos of me have me sitting in the same spot all day. (Even though there are few photos of me, I know this is true)


With 20 people in the room, there was precious little seating and I DO have my favorite rocking chair, which my kids respectfully leave for me most of the time.


If Jim was able to move around the room, switching his seating, then obviously other people were doing the same thing.


My oldest kids were at an event about 2 years ago where they saw my sister for the first time in years....they remarked how much we looked alike and also how much we behaved alike. Part of their comments....."She had a camera and sat in the same place all afternoon, taking pictures of everyone, just like you do".

I immediately recognised myself in their comments and hated the fact that they were right.


WHY do I sit in the same spot?

Am I just lazy?

Did I ever get out of my chair?

Have I changed AT ALL since they made those comments?


I believe that I have made a habit of staying in the same spot when in larger gatherings because I have felt so fat.

I feel that I take up too much space (which is true) and that I am less intrusive if I just stay put.

I feel like a cow, lumbering around a room full of people.

Christmas makes it 'worse' because the room is also full of boxes and paper.

I don't think this situation has anything to do with being lazy. I would really like to get up and move around more, but being so self conscious about my size has forced me to stay sitting in one spot.

This year.....did I ever get out of my chair? Have I changed at all?

I still feel that I take up too much space, but not so much.

I feel far from graceful, but not so 'lumbering'.

I know I do not feel so ugly as in the fact, I do not think of myself as ugly at all, any more.

I am not sure if I got out of my chair more often or not this year.....I am naturally less 'antsy' than my hubby - he has never been able to sit still for long (a challenge when watching a movie or playing a game. LOL ) so it is unreasonable to compare myself to him.

These are just thoughts, spurred by looking at Christmas photos (which I should so totally NOT be doing in the middle of the day).

End Result:

I want to be more conscious of MOVING in ordinary situations. I want to forget about being the fat woman in confined quarters and begin to ACT like I am a normal size.

I am going to set a timer when I am working at my desk so that I have to get up and walk down the hall, at least. Keep those joints moving.

I want to be someone who is 'on the move' and just making myself exercise is not going to be enough to change me from a person who just sits in one spot taking pictures to one who is up and moving around, getting those same photos from different angles.

(can you tell I love to take pictures?)

Well, I must get up and do something that involves movement, now that I've made these statements! :)

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Stuck in a deep freeze

As my regular readers know, my hubby has a 'new' job.....really, it is his old job.

The relevance of this information is that he started his new job a small town 2 hours west of our home. Since his first day was going to be a very short day, I offered to follow him (a few hours later since I did not want to leave at 5 am) and help him get settled .

My plan was to arrive around noon, find him a hotel with a kitchenette, buy him some groceries, cook us some supper, and then we'd hang out for the evening.

All went according to plan....I even beat him 4 out of 5 games of Rummy. (He'll tell you it was because he was so tired, but don't you believe it!)

This morning, we awoke at 5 am to temperatures around 40 degrees below freezing. Brrrrrrrr
No one likes these mornings.

Both our trucks started, thanks to the extension cords plugged into the motel's outdoor outlets. Problem though, when Jim went to leave.......his truck would not go into gear. It would not move either forward or back.

First 'real' day of work......several crews of workers were going to be arriving somewhere in the middle of the 'bush' an hour south of town within an hour and a half, looking to him for instruction......what does he do?

He takes MY truck, of course.....what else can he do?

I spent the morning phoning different shops in town, trying to find one that was A) open on this Saturday after the New Year (most places had decided to close down from the 1st - the 5th) B) had time to work on our truck. and C) would give credence to my hubby's analysis of what was wrong.

I succeeded....the Ford Dealership was willing to take Jim's GM truck and do what he asked...even though they did not think he was right in his diagnosis.

What was it? you ask?

Here's the thing......Last February, we had a high performance tranny put into our truck. Where were we last February? Bossier City, Louisiana. The tranny techs put high performance tranny fluid into the transmission (of course). Now, those fortunate folks down in Louisiana never have to consider how their transmission fluid will perform in a deep freeze.......Jim figured the thicker oil simply got too thick in the extreme cold, causing the truck to be unable to go into gear. He asked that the shop do a "tranny flush" (drain the old oil) and add new "Alberta-cold-resistant" oil instead.

Did it work?

Much to the surprise of the service folks at Ford, yes, it worked.

BUT....that meant that I've been stuck in a hotel room (except when I was in a tow truck, at the dealership, or in a cab) all day.

Happy for me that Jim has a personal computer with him as well as the one supplied by his employers.....I've had the company of my blogging friends all day.

Couldn't even read, because the book I brought (of course, I brought a book along) is so poorly written, I can't make myself read it past the first 3 pages (which I read last night). I don't often find such a dud.......

Not that I'm not enjoying the blogs.....of course I am, but it would be nice to do something else too.

Sitting here with no options as to how to spend my time took a tole on my mind......I started craving chocolate in a bad way. Of course, there was none in the room - or my purse - or my bag and I had no way to get to any place that would sell it.......until the dealership called that the truck was ready.

The cab dropped me off, I paid the bill, and drove away.....straight to the nearest gas station where I started looking frantically for my usual chocolate help - a Cadbury Thin, Dark Chocolate. I even asked for help from the cashier but was informed that the Cadbury Thins did not sell well here, so they don't carry them.

I should have walked out. I mean, the Thins are part of my personal strategy when I "need" chocolate.....anything else is an 'infraction'.

I did not walk out - had you already guessed that?

I did read the calories on a few different bars, and the one I chose had fewer calories than many - plus it was the only one that was dark chocolate. (I don't see any use for eating chocolate if it is not dark) I bought a dark Kit Kat and I enjoyed every bite.

But I am disappointed in myself for giving in so easily.....

Hubby just called.....telling me that when he finally gets "home", he is going to need a hearty meal - he's been outside all day (and it has not gone above -25 C). He took steaks out of the 'freezer' this morning so I will need to work around those.....and we have limited groceries - as in, no 'staples' and only salt, pepper, and garlic for seasoning. That eliminates stew or something like that.....unless I brave the deep freeze again and go supplement his simple supplies. But my feet have been cold since last night (even though we went and bought me some slippers to try warm them up) and I really don't like driving his truck.......

Guess I'll have to go think and get a bit creative......he probably won't be home for another couple hours, at least.

It is getting colder.

Tonight it is supposed to go down to 45 degrees below freezing. ugh. Take me back to Louisiana!

On the up side, the forecast is for the temperature to rise to ABOVE freezing by Tuesday.

Go figure.