Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Wednesday report.....not so good

This has got to be a quick, short post because I need to get going in to town to look after my daughter......this business of sending new moms home as soon as 24 hours is up really is not wise, IMHO. But that is fodder for another post.

Today, I am coming face to face with the realization that I am no longer losing. In fact, I am gaining.

Now, most of you will probably say...."DUH! We knew that!" If you pay attention, you do know that.

I, however, have the uncanny ability to drift through life ignoring anything that I do not want to bother me. I can put things off until disaster strikes.

My scale this morning read 213.8. That is not the highest it has been of late, but it is still 7 pounds higher than my lowest weight. Worse, just going by memory, I am only about 12 pounds less than I was last year at this time.

Twelve pounds in a year!

That is not a 'slow but steady' weight loss - that is almost standing still!

There have been alot of things going on since the beginning of this year - true. But there were alot of things going on the year I WAS losing weight consistently. So that cannot be an excuse.

I think I just let the stresses I've been under this year nudge me a little bit off track. Not alot.... there has been no major crash, no big binges, no major changes......just small changes here and there that have finally caught up with me.

I've been trying for the last couple weeks to refocus, but it is very hard to get 'back in the zone' of thinking differently.

A year ago I found it easy to say no to birthday cakes. This year, I don't even think of saying no.

A year ago I wouldn't have even considered eating certain things that this year I eat without thought.

A year ago I did not eat anything without weighing or measuring it first and I wrote down everything that went into my mouth.

This year, I 'estimate' instead of weighing and I am very inconsistent with my food journal.

I know what I need to do.....I'm just having a hard time grabbing that brass ring again.

On the bright side, I CAN see a glimmer of light in my brain.....I am beginning to want what I had (a feeling of success) more than what I have (a lazefaire attitude toward food and exercise).

I hope to be able to report a renewal in my thinking and attitude by next Wednesday.

In the meantime, there are just two more birthdays to get through this month. July is our busiest month.....and we've just added another July birthday! (Beginning on the 11th, there are now eight birthdays in July - and that doesn't count a niece and a few close friends!) My goal is to refuse the cake at the last two birthdays.

I'll let you know how I do.

1 comment:

SeaShore said...

It's really hard to stay on track during stressful times. I hope you can find your way back to where you want to be.