Tuesday, March 3, 2009

I am still here

I know I've been negligent in posting of late.....partly because I haven't felt that I had anything to say that would be of use to anyone - including myself. I've been plodding along, no major challenges regarding food, and just the same old, same old regarding exercise.

Thanks, Lyn, for nudging me to communicate in spite of all that.

I will probably post either a gain or stay the same tomorrow for my weigh in.

There have been no days of indulging or even of 'starving' myself. My biggest problem has been a lack of water intake.

That being said, I have had a very hard week, emotionally.

I hesitate to talk about it because at this point, the 'problem' is private and I have just participated in a blog interview in which I talk about this blog. I do not want someone who may know someone who knows the people involved to read about it here.

Suffice it to say that my heart has been broken (No, not by my Mr Wonderful - he's more wonderful than ever).

The news I was given was something I never expected to recieve regarding someone I love with my life. Then, I had to not tell anyone for 3 whole days. (Jim knew, so I could at least talk to him) But other people who would be affected could not be told immediately.

So, along with the heartbreak (which was on many levels), I was stressed about keeping the secret.

Saturday night I was able to share with my children what was going on, taking away the stress of pretending everything was normal.

Have I ever told you what great kids I have? Their response to the news was nothing but supportive and loving. (Although their hearts were breaking, too) I was SO proud of them! We ended the evening with everyone praying about the situation and for those directly involved. It was powerful. Maybe more so because we don't often pray together - other than at meals.

Sunday and yesterday I was exhausted....probably the release of carrying the load between just my hubby and me.

I gained one pound over this period of time (after getting down to 205.2 early in the week) so at this point, I am about the same as I was last Wednesday. I did not eat to make myself feel better, and I certainly didn't binge or eat a whole lot of chocolate.....except for one day - I had 3 small handfuls of dark chocolate chips (about 80 cal each). No biggie, in my opinion.

Does carrying a heavy emotional burden cause you to gain weight or prevent you from losing weight?

It is still there, never far from my thoughts, my heart feels so heavy and tears are never far from the surface....but life must go on. I am a main support for the person directly involved so I need to be available, strong, wise, and understanding. A big order.

When I can, I will share....for now, if you are a believer, please pray for my family. If you are not a believer, then send me your good thoughts, I appreciate them too.

I will be back tomorrow with my wiegh in report.

PS....I've been reading many of your posts, even if I haven't been commenting. You are all important to me.


Anonymous said...

Glad to have you back. Stay strong and I will come back for sure to check up. Just good to have you back.

~TMcGee~ said...

Oh Karyn, my heart just sank when I read your post. :-( Obviously I don't know what's going on but the Lord does. I am so praying as soon as I am done commenting that He just wraps His arms around you and your family and all who are involved in this. It hurts me to think that such a lovely person's heart is breaking. I will pray that our Savior will mend it quickly. God bless you my friend.

Herbalife Las Vegas said...

I know when I get emotional, I tend to eat more and forget about my goals, hang in there.
Stress can add to weight gain. Some stress is good but too much stress is bad.
I love kids, I wish I had my own. Thats great you have wonderful kids that support you.

MizFit said...

and your kids are amazing because YOU HAVE RAISED THEM THAT WAY.

skinnyhollie said...

I'm so sorry you're going through such a rough time. I'll be praying for you!

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you Karyn and knowing that you will have the strength to support those needing your support at this time. Take care. Carol

arlene said...

The biggest blessing of having a family like yours is love and support and sharing the burdens. Yes it hurts, but the fact that their (and your) response was prayer, will make this turn out.
His grace is sufficient.
I wish I could help.

Karyn said...

Thank you all....it is good to know that there are folks praying for us, even without knowing the problem.

And Arlene...what do you mean, you wish you could help? Who did I call when I didn't yet know what was wrong? Who prayed me through that first night?

Everyone else...meet my BBF...she is a peach!

Karyn said...

correction: My BFF, not my BBF. LOL