I had a good day yesterday. I felt 'in the groove' and powerful - at least as far as food is concerned. Up until then, this week was a struggle. I felt like I was tied up by the urge to eat and even though I was making an effort, I was not winning. In fact, during the week, my weight went UP....I think as high as 217 but hovering at 216.4 or so.
Yesterday, however, I woke up telling myself I was a person who was in control and who did not want to eat just for taste. (my biggest problem) I started my day with a fruit smoothie, using all my dairy and fruit exchanges for the day.
I had my perscribed snack at 'snack time' (a meal replacement bar).
I shared lunch with my daughter in law....she made a salad with tuna (and mayo) for us. I had a small portion but was satisfied. (1 veg, 1/2 protien, fat)
I ate my snack bar after I left her house (around supper time) and did not eat again until quite a lot later - when I was hungry. I had a chicken sandwich (2 carb, 1/2 protien, fat) just before I ran out the door to go into town to use my son's internet (mine was being very slow) to load some photos to my facebook albums. While there, I was offered a brownie to which I (without even thinking) said 'no thanks'. How's that for being 'in the groove'?
I was at their house until midnight, drove the 1/2 hour home, then proceeded to add captions to all my photos - keeping me up VERY late but also keeping me busy enough that I was able to ignore my growling stomach for a couple hours.
I gave in, though, at about 2 a.m. and went looking for something to eat. My fridge is a little empty right now - at least, empty of 'the good stuff' and I ended up eating a large cookie from the bakery. Definately NOT a good choice - especially so late at night. But I was hungry enough (not just wanting to eat, really hungry) that I would not have gotten to sleep well without something - and I was tired enough (naturally) that I did not want to prepare anything. So, I blew it there. Actually, I really blew it when I did not go straight to bed when I got home. If I had, I would have been fine.
So.....that brings me to my weekly weigh in........DOWN .6 lbs. Not alot, but considering I had been up most of the week, better than it looks. Actually, yesterday I lost 1.6 pounds. Of course, I am only officially counting the weekly numbers, but I feel good today. Like I am the person who eats properly, thinks about her food intake, and is progressively getting smaller.
Success breeds success.
At least for me.
I am not motivated by being told (by myself or anyone else) that I am gaining weight. I am not motivated by the thought of 'losing' all that I worked for over the last almost 2 years. I am not motivated when I look in the mirror and only see a fat woman.
I am motivated when I feel good about myself. Getting through the day yesterday without mindless 'picking' and 'snacking' made me feel successful. Looking at the number on the scale today made me feel like I CAN make good choices again today - even better choices (I did not eat as many 'exchanges' yesterday as I should have, for example...and, of course, the cookie was a no no..except it made up for the calories I did not eat). I AM a person who eats healthy foods in healthy amounts at reasonable times during the day. I do not want to eat high calorie, high sodium, high fat, loads of sugar foods. I am going to start making note of my successes - which will become more and more numerous.
Soon, folks will be seeing less of me.