I'm having a terrible week, weight-wise!

I started out great, as you can see by the previous post, but from Wednesday morning, I started going up, up, up!

I am telling the truth when I say that the worst I did was eat lasagne at BP's on Wednesday (as reported).

I am sick this week - with a cold. I always seem to gain temporarily with a cold.

Today (Monday) I am on my way back down from as high as 209.....today I'm at 207.4. Still up from Wednesday's weigh in, but on my way down from the upward trend of earlier this 'week'.
One thing the bigger numbers did for me was get me drinking my water. I got kind of mad that the numbers were going up for no apparent reason so I drank and drank and drank water. That could be why I started going down.

But, having a bad cough means that I do not want to physically extend myself (as in exercise) because I'll just start coughing. I hate coughing.

But....this week has not been all bad! In fact, only the numbers on the scale and the fact that I am coughing constantly have been bad......and that is because my Mr. Wonderful is home. Not just for a night or two, either. He is home for (probably) at least 6 weeks! Hooray!

Also, yesterday our whole family gathered at our house to say 'goodbye' to the 'little brother'. Our youngest, Danny, is leaving at the end of this week to attend school at YWAM in Lakeside, Montana for five months. We will all really miss him!

We have not all been together at one place since Christmas, so yesterday was a treat - in spite of my feeling rough and Jim being exhausted.

Pictures from yesterday are here.

Well, I'd better go and put my house back in order after having 20 odd people here all day.....the last of them left just a couple hours ago (my daughter & grandson stayed overnight since my SIL had to work nights last night).

Hopefully, the downward trend continues and I can at least report a maintanence on Wednesday!

Weigh in report

Sorry, I'm a day late here.....

I spent the day yesterday in the city with son Michael, DIL Victoria, and Grandson Kaden and did not get home until quite late - very tired. (I hadn't slept well the night before)

Our main activity for the day was to take Kaden (14 mo) to 'Chuck E Cheese's'......a wannabe restaurant that is a mecca for kids' birthday parties. I say 'wannabe restaurant' because apparently the food is pretty bad - we didn't eat, just let Kaden (and his parents) play on the rides and games.

We went out for supper, and since Victoria is pregnant and still in the stage where she is a little 'picky' about what her stomach will tolerate, she got to choose the restaurant. She chose Boston Pizza. By the time we got there, I was VERY hungry and the thought of another salad as my meal just wasn't 'doing it' for me. (We had salad for lunch)

I had lasagne. Certainly not my best choice, but.....it had less cheese on it than the other lasagne choice....do I get points for that? LOL I didn't worry about it, just enjoyed it. I knew that even if it added a little to the scale for today - it was more important that we have a nice, enjoyable supper together.

So, I said all that to explain why I didn't post my weigh in yesterday. I did weigh in before I left for the city and ..... I am DOWN 1.8! Yay! Actually, my weight yesterday is the lowest I've posted on my ticker. Of course, by today, I am up a bit, thanks to the lasagne (probably) but that is this week.....last week I lost. And there's plenty of time to get rid of the .6 lbs I'm up this morning.

BTW I have managed to incorporate ONE aspect of exercise into my day - almost every day. It is not much, but I decided to get one thing made into a habit, then I'll add one more thing. (I tend to get overwhelmed with things that are 'big' and then do nothing) So, 5 out of 7 days last week I did pushups off the countertop. (I've been doing this consistently for a few weeks now) I am up to at least 60 ...sometimes I've made as high as 70. When I can do 100 easily I will start doing "girl pushups" (from the knees). This is pretty much enough a part of my day that I don't even think about it - just do them.

Next step......I think my Pilates DVD - it is divided into 10 minute long workouts. If I can start putting small things in, I think I can work up to longer workouts.

So my goal this week (unless some major change happens to derail me) is to do at least one of the Pilates workouts each day. I doubt I'll make every day, but.......that is my goal.

Family Stuff....Updates

First of all, thank you so much, those of you who prayed for or thought of our baby Titus. I am happy to report that he is much better....his lungs are clearing up and he is on the mend! In fact, he felt well enough to go out with Gramma and Mommy on Saturday night and then entertain the other ladies with his smiles....

Thank you too, for your support and prayers regarding the problem I mentioned here . (I cannot go into detail on such a public forum as this) It is ongoing and requires faith to believe it will end well. I appreciate any prayers for my family. If you want to pray for us with a bit more knowledge, you can email me and I will let you know what's up. Otherwise, the Father knows better than I do, even, what is going on.

And, an update on Vinjelu and Kathryn and their music......They now have a website http://www.anotherway.ca/ where you can listen to the song "Weeping" which is also available on iTunes (you have to search by title and also artist:Another Way).

They've performed a few different places over the last couple months and helped to raise money for a couple different projects both in Alberta and in Africa.

They will be sharing their plans for the future in Wetaskiwin, Alberta on May 2 - I expect they may sing a song or two, as well - if you are in our neck of the woods....come on by!

Kathryn is now doing a University course on Health Care Administration via correspondance. She will continue her studies while they are in Zambia (leaving at the end of this year) and when they return in 2 years, she will apply these courses to a nursing degree.

They've also moved to a different residence in the last month. These two things, coupled with her struggles with nausea, etc because of pregnancy, have slowed some of their musical plans down for the moment.

But go to their website and have a listen to the song, if you didn't get to download it from iTunes!

Jim is still working! We are very grateful for this - it is well past the 'normal' time for shutting down for spring. Every day he can work now is a couple more days that we can go without work over the summer. We are trusting God to open up doors so that he can get 10 days a month in after 'break up' is over. 2 weeks would be wonderful but that doesn't look likely.

(This photo was taken a few years ago - I haven't been out to any of his locations for a LONG time)

And, my 'baby' (19 yr old son) has moved back home for the last month but will be leaving for FIVE whole months in about 10 days. He will be away from home for his 20th birthday. I am not looking forward to saying goodbye for so long. I must say, he's a little conflicted about it, as well. Not enough to keep from being excited, though!

He will be studying at a Youth With A Mission base in Montana for 3 months then will be travelling with the class on a 'field assignment' to either Thailand, Ukraine, or Nepal for 2 months. On the field assignment, they will be helping with building, teaching English, doing dramas....... we don't know the specifics yet of what his exact assignment will be, but these are some of the activities that are normally included.

And just for fun.....here's my baby when he was only 5.

Don't you love the rubber boots in the middle of summer? LOL

Nothing in this post about weight loss.....I'll save that for tomorrow. I just wanted to say how much I appreciate the friendship and support of this community - and keep you updated.

Weigh In

Well, bad news again.....I gained a pound.

My weight fluctuated between 206.0 and 209.2 this week so I guess 208.2 is better than the 209.2.

I had one day this week ....Friday night to Saturday night when I gave in WAY too much. I had that Cherry Blossom I wrote about, a Pep Bar, 2 cappachinos, and TWO pieces of that chocolate cake I made for my son. All in a 24 hour period. Add to that maybe 3 more bites of the cake over the next couple days.

Also, my water intake has been way down. I just forget to drink it.

My meals have been fine - healthy choices always.....it was the treats and the lack of water, I'm sure.

I think I've kind of hit a spot in my mind where I'm a little unmotivated. Just a little.

Could be peripheral happenings that have been occupying my mind.....the major problem I can't tell you about, for one.

And now, our youngest grandbaby (3 months old) has pneumonia. He is not hospitalized, yet. But he will be if he gets any worse. He throws up as soon as he is given his medicine, so unless Lana figures a way to get it into him, he will need to be put on IV.

The good news is that my man is still working. He never knows if the job he is being sent to will be the last or not, but they keep giving him wells.....that is good. The longer he can work now, the longer we can last over spring. After Spring Break Up.....we still do not know much. His boss has indicated that if there is any work, Jim will be one of those being called - at least for a week a month.

I've been spending much time lately studying about gardening. It has been several years since we had a garden and we didn't have much time to put into the ones we had in years past - between homeschooling 5 kids and chasing after 4 kids in ball every night of the week and all day Saturdays and Sundays.

So, since Jim will be home for most of the summer and we no longer have school and ball to take us away from the garden, we want to be able to have the best one possible. I am even going to start some plants indoors within the next couple weeks.

Our average last day of frost around here is between May 15 and 25. Most people put their gardens in on the "May long weekend" (May 16 - 18 this year). My research has told me that we can plant several seeds well before that....as long as the ground can be tilled. I'm a person that likes to know ahead of time how to do something....I don't like to just jump in and do it. Even when we started our first garden in 1994, I did lots of reading ahead of time.

If nothing else, the garden should get me outside every day this summer. I'm hoping that having shed almost 50 pounds of weight, I will be able to bear the heat better this year. Normally, I stay inside.....I don't wear shorts or sleeveless tops (for obvious reasons) and being outside in jeans is VERY uncomfortable. I usually stay inside my air conditioned house.

That may be a weight loss benefit I haven't even thought of before!

It may even be a motivator.

Sounds like I need to refocus, doesn't it?

I'm off now, to the city to visit number 2 son and his family.....have supper and then hang out for an hour or two. Hubby is working night shift last night and tonight (at least) so I haven't talked to him since last night...... I'm sure he'll be calling soon - once he is up and on his way to his location.

TaTa.....I will try to have better news next week!

Was it worth it?

The other day I bought a Lowney's Cherry Blossom....You know...... that 'cherry in a pocket with delicious cherry sauce and surrounded with a nutty chocolate shell.'

(The previous words are not mine, they are from a website that sells the candy in large multitudes)

Why did I buy it?

First because when I was growing up, this was my favorite candy treat. I love chocolate covered cherries. Put a box of chocolates near me and I'll go for the cherries and leave the rest - every time.

Second, these little babies are not commonly sold around here. At least not in recent years, so I felt that I should grab it up while the grabbing was good.

Third, I haven't had one in so many years I cannot remember the last time I did.

Forth.....actually, probably first....because these were my dad's favorite treat and every time I see one, I think of him. One year we gave him several Cherry Blossoms for his birthday - each wrapped individually. That is a fun memory.

So, I considered it and decided that I was willing to risk the temporary weight gain for the pleasure of having a Cherry Blossom and thinking of my dad while I was eating it.

Was it worth it?

Not a bit.

The chocolate was not nearly as good as I remember and the syrup around the cherry was way too sweet.

I saved the box......now I can pull it out for a calorie-free memory of my dad and of my childhood.

A Quote from Annette

If you read my rant yesterday, and read the comments left, you've already seen this statement by Annette. But these few words of hers speak so eloquently what I believe should be our focus and our 'plan', that I wanted to highlight them on a post - all of their own.

"Health should be the goal.....weight loss is the reward along the way"

Well said, Annette.

A bit of a Rant

This has been bugging me for awhile, but I hesitated to blog about it because I don't want to offend anyone.....but tell me, how can a weight loss plan give lasting success when it feeds you things like cheescake, pizza, cheese curls, chocolate cake and all the 'fattening' things we love?

Everytime the ad for this program comes on the radio, I cringe. The spokesperson says how she lost X number of pounds eating all the things she loves. And for only a small fee (plus the cost of food) you too can lose all the weight you want!

The food must be chemically modified to contain less fat and calories, yet still taste good enough to keep you buying it, but how does this teach a person to eat so that they can maintain their goal weight? Are you supposed to eat their food for the rest of your life?

OK, you most likely learn some portion control, but how healthy is it to continue eating food that looks like, tastes similar to, and is called the same as all the fat and calorie laden foods that got you to an overweight place in the first place? Shouldn't we be learning BEHAVIOR modification instead of practicing food modification?

The weight loss center that got me started losing weight and actually changing the way I ate offers a sustainable plan - but they, too, offer modified cookies, chips, crackers. I always refused them because I figured I needed to learn to NOT eat sweets on a regular basis. Just because it is 'allowed' on the plan doesn't mean it is a good thing!

At least, that is what I think.

Another VERY popular system offers all kinds of desserts that are 'legal'.....I've bought some of them myself- back when I first started this journey. How does that teach me to control my cravings for sweets? How does that teach me to live? Am I going to take my 'diet' cake with me to a birthday party? Doesn't that just make me feel like I stand out even more than I already feel I do?

Isn't it better to learn to either just say no thanks or take a small piece and enjoy it because it is not chemically modified to have fewer calories?

Wouldn't it be better to learn to make the foods we love ourselves, but modify the recipies with real food instead of chemicals?

I made a cake for my son last night.....I used whole wheat flour instead of white and used no fat sour cream instead of buttermilk. I still used sugar, but I could have used less....and I have made it with brown sugar instead of white for a healthier choice. I also could have used egg beaters but I didn't have any. The cake is still full of calories and is not a good choice for me to snack on, but it is healthier than the original and certainly healthier than a prepackaged and processed cake that is 'allowed' on your diet plan.

I had a small piece last night......and Danny only took ONE piece in his lunch - even though his lunch also has to be his supper tonight because he is not coming home - so there is this whole 8X8 cake sitting on the counter. I know my limitations......I covered it with a cookie sheet, set it aside on the 'storage countertop' where I do no food preparation, then set a group of bottles and containers I am saving on top. Out of sight, out of mind (so far). Also, if I want a piece, I will have to take everything off and move it over to the cupboard - meaning that it will have to be a premeditated action, rather than mindlessly taking a bite here and there until half the cake is gone.

OK, that was a bit of a rabbit trail.

The point of my rant is......it bugs me that these large companies (the one with the ad on the radio in particular) promise something that seems to be unattainable for any length of time.

Unless you happen to have enough money to keep buying their food.

Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about, but I just wanted to get this off my chest.

Weight In - and a New Plan!

Well, as I expected, I have gone UP .6 pounds. I am thankful that my gains are so small, but really wish it was down .6. Must dig in harder, be more disciplined, pay more attention, exercise more consistently.




OR.....





Maybe I should try this new/old diet plan that my niece sent me:

Anyone for a tapeworm?

A Quick Hello

Hey everyone.....

Well, the snow and blowing has stopped. No more in the forecast (not that that means much) and warmer temperatures are on the way - so they say.

We were 'snowed in' again Sunday and most of Monday - that is, the road out to the highway was snowed in - our drive was saved from the same fate by the high snow walls made by the plow when it removed the drift there - the new blowing snow just built up behind the snow wall.

The scale has not been friendly to me this week - one day I was up three whole pounds! No real reason for it, either, that I could see in my food diary. I've lost most of that 3, but I'm still above last week's weigh in numbers. I had to take my rings off yesterday - retaining water, for whatever reason. I don't think I've had any extra sodium lately.

At any rate, I've been paying closer attention to what I'm eating and drinking, being more diligent with my water, and I've even been consistent with the little bit of exercise I have managed to incorporate into my life so far.

Also, I have changed my routine. Instead of starting my day with the computer - facebook, blogs, email.....I am starting my day with Bible study and exercise - with computer happening at lunch time and then in the evening. Not that this will make a whole lot of difference in my weight.....wait a minute.....maybe it will - I am not so tempted to sit here for a long time when I've started my day with more activity and by spending time listening to my Father.

Just so you know, I have spent far too much time trying to read everyone's blog that is on my blogroll every day. I just can't do it. So, if I don't get to your blog every time you post, it is not because I am ignoring you, it is just that I need to get off my butt more. I will be getting to everyone at least once a week, though....at least, that is my goal. I love reading about how you are conquering the struggles that go with changing our lifestyles, I glean so much from all of you and have come to look at you as my friends. I could not even think of walking away from any of you, and I so love to read the encouraging words you write to me in response to whatever I write.

I am planning on doing a series of posts based on the book I am reading "Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat?" but have yet to actually take the time to formulate my thoughts. Sooner or later, though......there is much in this book that has made me think - and much that I have already done...before I read it....and therefore, have some experience with the concepts.

OK, that was a bad sentence, but I said this was a 'quick' hello, didn't I? I'm not taking time to rewrite and edit....you'll just have to figure out what I'm saying. LOL

The situation I wrote about a week or so ago that is causing such heartbreak is ongoing and takes much of my emotional strength, please keep praying for us.

Hopefully, when I weigh in tomorrow the scale will show at least a maintanence......Talk to you tomorrow!

Get My Drift?

Just thought I'd share a few pictures of our snow day.

OK, I exaggerated a bit on saying the drift was 4 feet high this morning. But it WAS past the bumper on my truck! Here is a photo from this morning, after I went through the drift twice.

By mid afternoon the sun had come out and the wind had quit blowing but the drift was not only filled in again, it was bigger and wider. This time, even my testosterone riddled 19 year old son did not think the truck could get through. We will be lucky if the plows have done our road by tomorrow night, so.....Daniel dug out enough of the drift to get the truck through. When the plow comes by, it will come in and clear the whole driveway and the yard.

You can see my truck's tire marks heading into the drift from the morning and you can also see where Daniel has started to dig through. The road is just this side of that power pole in the background. It was pretty cold to be working outside, but Dan was bundled up. I was surprised at how quickly he was through.....I think he was glad to do some hard work since he had to stay home from his job (hard labor, most of the time).

The next two photos are just some pictures that Danny took on his camera. I just thought they were kind of cool.

This is an old grainery/shed that is on our property. We live on what was once a farm...old fences and buildings. This photo shows some of the 'sculpturing' of the snow done by the wind.

The fence around our front yard is 3 feet high, so that gives an idea how high this drift is. I think it is interesting how there is a space between the snow and the fence. There is this same kind of drift around our trailer, too.

I will be posting some more 'storm' photos on my Project 365 blog, if you are interested.

Holy Blowing Snow, Batman!

Just so that we didn't think spring was actaully on its way, Winter has made a ferocious comeback.

Yesterday was a lovely day.....snow melting, water from the melting snow dripping off the roof, sun shining and warm.....you could almost smell spring in the air.

Just as I was about to go to bed last night, I heard dogs barking outside, telling me that the wind was blowing hard enough to blow the back door open. We called the dogs back in and locked the door so it wouldn't blow open. I was just drifting off to sleep when those 4 legged, furry scardy-cats started barking at the wind. I dragged myself out of bed, put the garbage can up on the cupboard, took the 2 males to my bedroom and directed them to their bed (which they usually only get to sleep in when Jim is home) and settled the 2 females on the couches so they'd all quit barking. (The 5th dog is Daniel's and he had her in his room already).

Everyone slept all night, thankfully.

This morning, I told Dan I was driving him to work so I wasn't stuck at home with no transportation because I expected that my little car would not be making it through what would be drifted roads. (Dan's car is in the shop so he has been driving my truck).

I backed out of the parking spot and headed out the drive toward the road.

Woah! The drive was blocked by a drift - at least 4 feet high!

I drive a Ford Excursion - the same size as a 1 ton truck, so my truck is no pansy when it comes to things that would slow a smaller vehicle down, but this drift......I just looked at it, trying to gage whether or not I could get through it. Dan told me to 'go for it' because it didn't look hard yet.

OK, what's the worst that could happen? I get stuck and have to walk back to the house? It's not that cold out (in fact, it is only about 10 or 15 below freezing.....it's just that the wind makes it feel much colder). So, I lined up with the center of the drive and gave 'er. My beast sliced through that thing like butter!

Out on the road, Dan decided to call his boss and say he was likely going to be late because of the roads. His boss told him to stay home. By the time we got to the corner where I could turn around, I was glad I did not have to navigate 35 kms of drifts, accumulated snow, and poor visibility due to blowing snow.....then come back through the same thing!

BTW, getting back through the drift in the driveway was not quite as easy since I could not hit it straight on.....but we made it.

So, we have a snow day (actually a rare occurance) and I am hoping the county still has me on their list for clearing my driveway when they bring the grader down our road.....probably tomorrow or even the next day - since we are not on a school bus route, our road is low priority. This drift is just a little much for our little tractor to tackle. Maybe I'll send Dan out to shovel some of it away before it gets hardend.

This had nothing to do with weight loss, but I thought I'd share it with y'all - especially those of you basking in the sunshine and warm weather already.

On another non weight-related subject......The large multi-national oil company my hubby works for laid off THREE HUNDRED people from their Calgary office yesterday. 300! That is like 6 floors of people. This does not bode well for work over the summer. If they are laying off that many office staff, they must not be expecting to be doing much work in the field.

Reporting In and rambling alot

Well, my official weigh in report is UP .2 lbs.

Two Tenths of a pound is pretty much staying the same. It is a little frustrating only because I was down a whole pound from where I am today for two days earlier in the week.

Oh well.

If I was only looking at this week, it would not be too concerning. But my loss for the month of February is a whole 2/10 ths of a pound. Not much for a month of mostly clean eating.

Guess I'll just have to break down and start exercising, eh? LOL

The good news is that a couple weeks ago Hubby and I took my measurements. I have lost a total of 32.25 inches since September. That is not bad at all.

I can tell, too.

I've noticed recently that having a bath is much more pleasant since I do not have to lay my arms on top of my body - they fit beside me! That is alot of bulk that has disappeared! Also, the water almost completely covers my big belly. In my small tub, that is pretty impressive.

Another thing that has nothing to do with the numbers on the scale - the jeans I bought in the fall in a size 18 (fat lady sizing) and were too tight to wear are now loose. I wore them for the first time Christmas day and they fit nicely. I can still wear them, but I could probably go down another size - I just don't want to spend the money just to have to replace them in another 3 months. I'm hoping to be able to wear baggy jeans until I can get into a 14.

As I write that, I can't believe I am saying that I can see myself in a 14! Even a plus size 14. I cannot remember the last time my sizes did not have a 2 for the first digit. (Well, except for the jeans I am wearing right now - which are still a novelty).

I think I know what the problem has been this past month......I've been fighting loneliness.

It has been more than a year since Jim has been away from home for so long - without a fixed date for him to have time off. I'd gotten used to having him around for extended periods of time. Add to that (which has been the biggest factor) I've been living alone this whole time. Normally, I like to be alone - I usually get more done when I don't have to worry about anyone else.

January, Jim was having problems with his truck and I needed to be in the town where he was based in order to take care of it so, I spent lots of time with him in the evenings.

February, because of the fact that we have 5 dogs that cannot be left as long as it would be neccessary for me to drive out, spend the night, then come home in the morning, I did not make the trek more than once or twice. That just is not enough time together - especially when you consider that an evening with my husband is really only about 2 hours long - including supper - because he does not get back to town until 7ish and must be asleep before 10.

But, my daughter and SIL have moved out of the big house they were renting (it was too expensive to heat and too big for Kath to keep up the housework because of the extreme nauseau and dizziness that she experiences with pregnancy). My youngest son was living with them so when they moved, he came back home. It will only be for a month, but by then Jim should be home for at least a couple months. That means that most evenings I am not alone PLUS it means that if the weather cooperates, I can drive out to where Jim is because Danny will be home to look after the dogs. (The weather is NOT cooperating today or tomorrow)

As well, there is the consideration that we do not know if there will be any work for Jim after 'break up' (while the frost comes out of the ground). The Oil/Gas industry took a hard hit last fall when our provincial government imposed higher royalty taxes on the oil companies. The tax has been implemented as of January of this year. There will be precious little work being done this summer because the profit margin has been cut so drastically by the tax. We will be lucky if we get 7 - 10 days a month.....which will be good for the garden since Jim loves to garden and I am a reluctant gardener at best. However, we are expecting to NEED the produce over the summer and into the winter with his income being cut so drastically (maybe altogether).

It is this likelihood of no work after March that has kept him working every day since January 2. He could have taken days off, but he wanted as many payable days as possible before there were no more.

It is also this likelihood that makes me hesitate to spend the money on fuel to go as often as I would like. With Dan home, I could spend 2 - 3 nights a week with Jim, but 4 hours driving is expensive - especially since in the winter, I mostly drive my truck rather than my Jetta. It is pretty costly to drive - even with the recent decrease in fuel prices.

All this rambling is to address the fact that I have been struggling with my emotions this past month. The bombshell that I was hit with last Wednesday sure didn't help. I was just getting a handle on feeling lonesome when I got the news I alluded to in my last post. I am struggling with sadness now.

I know where my answers lay......in relationship with my Heavenly Father. He has the answers for all these problems and He offers me peace in the midst of the storm. I only have to reach out to accept it and live in it.

I am thankful for this HOPE....I know I do not need to despair. GOD is our source, not our job....HE is my companion at all times.....HE has the answers for our newest 'problem'. It is this knowledge that keeps me from giving myself an ulcer, worrying.

As for my weight.....I'll keep 'plugging along'....no discouragement there - too many positives to let the numbers on the scale get me down about that!

Thank you for your prayers and your support after yesterday's post. I wish I could share more succinctly, but......those directly involved have asked for privacy - when the answer comes, I'll share the victory!

I am still here

I know I've been negligent in posting of late.....partly because I haven't felt that I had anything to say that would be of use to anyone - including myself. I've been plodding along, no major challenges regarding food, and just the same old, same old regarding exercise.

Thanks, Lyn, for nudging me to communicate in spite of all that.

I will probably post either a gain or stay the same tomorrow for my weigh in.

There have been no days of indulging or even of 'starving' myself. My biggest problem has been a lack of water intake.

That being said, I have had a very hard week, emotionally.

I hesitate to talk about it because at this point, the 'problem' is private and I have just participated in a blog interview in which I talk about this blog. I do not want someone who may know someone who knows the people involved to read about it here.

Suffice it to say that my heart has been broken (No, not by my Mr Wonderful - he's more wonderful than ever).

The news I was given was something I never expected to recieve regarding someone I love with my life. Then, I had to not tell anyone for 3 whole days. (Jim knew, so I could at least talk to him) But other people who would be affected could not be told immediately.

So, along with the heartbreak (which was on many levels), I was stressed about keeping the secret.

Saturday night I was able to share with my children what was going on, taking away the stress of pretending everything was normal.

Have I ever told you what great kids I have? Their response to the news was nothing but supportive and loving. (Although their hearts were breaking, too) I was SO proud of them! We ended the evening with everyone praying about the situation and for those directly involved. It was powerful. Maybe more so because we don't often pray together - other than at meals.

Sunday and yesterday I was exhausted....probably the release of carrying the load between just my hubby and me.

I gained one pound over this period of time (after getting down to 205.2 early in the week) so at this point, I am about the same as I was last Wednesday. I did not eat to make myself feel better, and I certainly didn't binge or eat a whole lot of chocolate.....except for one day - I had 3 small handfuls of dark chocolate chips (about 80 cal each). No biggie, in my opinion.

Does carrying a heavy emotional burden cause you to gain weight or prevent you from losing weight?

It is still there, never far from my thoughts, my heart feels so heavy and tears are never far from the surface....but life must go on. I am a main support for the person directly involved so I need to be available, strong, wise, and understanding. A big order.

When I can, I will share....for now, if you are a believer, please pray for my family. If you are not a believer, then send me your good thoughts, I appreciate them too.

I will be back tomorrow with my wiegh in report.

PS....I've been reading many of your posts, even if I haven't been commenting. You are all important to me.